There is so much teaching in New Age and Self Help Circles about the power of positive thinking.
If we find ourselves thinking a negative thought, or experiencing a negative feeling, we are instructed to shift our thoughts into positive ones, slap an affirmation on it and everything will be sunshine and tea roses.
In my own spiritual life, even before I met my Twin Flame, this is what I believed and every time a negative thought or belief came up, I would take out my list of happy affirmations and recite them, believing that as I did this, the situation would magically morph into the joyful manifestation that I was hoping to create and experience.
And it usually never did.
What I did experience I can only liken to a caffiene rush, where you gulp a cup of coffee because your energy is lagging, and you get that boost for an hour or two, and then you crash.
The shift into the energies of my affirmations and positive thinking would hold me only temporarily, then I would come down hard into a reality that was reflecting lack, disappointment, and struggle.
With this also came the ever increasing disillusionment that positive thinking doesn’t work, and doubts about my spiritual path.
It was a vicious hamster wheel cycle that many of us on the Spiritual Path experience.
The reason for this is that Positive thinking automatically brings us into duality, which is the judgement of something as “good” or “bad”.
If we are feeling sad, lonely, angry, jealous, hurt, etc, we are taught that these energies are negative, and that we must avoid that which is negative if we are to manifest positive results.
And while this is true to a large extent, where it falls short is that it is essentially teaching us to judge aspects of ourselves, as negative, and ignore and reject them, rather than accept these parts of ourselves as calling out for our attention because they need to be loved unconditionally and released.
For many of us, we were raised in dysfunctional situations where our emotional needs were not met, certain feelings and the expression of those feelings was unacceptable and taboo, and if we did step out of line to express them, we were invalidated.
How many of you were ever told,
“You shouldn’t feel that way because…” or “I don’t want to hear this right now. I’m too busy …” or “I don’t care…go to your room!”
Many of us heard messages like, or very similar to this, either verbally or non verbally, and so the pattern was set in motion to stuff our feelings down because no one cared and no one wanted to hear it.
In a similar way, positive thinking, and the tendency to squash down our heavier or less-than-joyful emotions is perpetuating that same level of emotional neglect and self-invalidating and is not acting in self love at all.
The parts of us that feel sad, angry, hurt, afraid are valid aspects of us calling to our attention that they need to be loved. They need to be heard.
Our feelings are our internal barometer, giving us a reading of our own internal weather and climate. They are coming up to be embraced and to come home to Love, not to be suppressed and told “we shouldn’t be feeling this way, but we should instead be feeling this way”.
This is why we get stuck in a loop of repeated futile patterns despite our affirmations and positive thinking, because there is a gaping wound in our psyche that we are slapping a band aid on , rather than really healing at the root with Love.
When we suppress our emotions, rather than allow ourselves to Love and listen to all of our Feelings and where they are leading us and what they are showing us, we may affirm that things are positive and “I now make $5000 a day” but if the pain from feeling unworthy from a past wounding has been ignored and stuffed down, the frequency remains in our fields, and draws like experiences to ourselves through the Law of Attraction, regardless of what we say, because we create largely by how we vibrate and what we are vibrating with.
Twin Flame love begins with self love. Self Love begins by loving, and embracing all aspects of ourselves, the good the bad and the ugly without judgement about it being “good or bad” “right or wrong” “negative or positive”. When we allow ourselves to be present with our “negative” emotions, they will guide us to our truth and what is calling for our attention within ourselves that need love within us. When we allow this, instead of surpress it, it is a powerful step toward healing not only ourselves, but aspects of our lives that were mirroring this back to us as frustrating creations creating more to feel sad, angry, and hurt about.
If you grew up not being allowed to express what you were feeling, being invalidated, and shamed for what you were feeling by the adults around you, you may not only tend to do this to yourself, but there is also a strong likelihood that there is emotional energy trapped in your energy field and body that is manifesting itself as a multitude of physical and emotional dis-ease and symptoms, not to mention what it places you in resonance with.
Retraining yourself to love ALL of you, and bless all of your feelings as parts of you worthy of Love, worthy of expressing, worthy of giving your attention to is a beautiful gift of self love that can create more of a lasting shift than “airbrushing” with positive affirmations that parts of you don’t agree with and cancel out.
Self Love at its most fundamental level is the absence of judgement.
If we can pull our judgement away from what we’re feeling as being good or bad, positive and negative, and just let it be what it is, we are placing us in a powerful position for change and transformation.
Blessings Until Next Time!!
And by the way, if you need energetic support in freeing trapped emotional energy from your energy field, the Liberating Trapped Emotional Energy Series are powerful healing tones from Source to assist in deactivating emotional charge associated with the tendency to stuff rather than process emotions. Currently there is Releasing Anger and Releasing Sorrow with more to come soon.I highly recommend it!