“I Got the Power”: A New Perspective on Painful and Intense Twin Flame Dynamics

One common thread that I have seen in many Twin Flame Unions, as well as my own, is the other counterpart in the Union is overflowing with “issues.”

I mean, really overflowing… gushing, even.


Many who have reached out to me and that I have worked with weave a similar tale of the Twin Flame often behaving with incredible cruelty, suffering from substance abuse, or generally being a tortured soul, and they have been on the receiving end of some very painful actions, words and behaviors as a result.

To those of you reading this, if this is your story, let me first say that Unconditional Love does not mean being a doormat, putting up with abuse, and allowing yourself to be treated any less than the Divine Child of the Divine that you are.

In fact, many of you grew up in households of abuse, addiction, and drama, and and as a result are grappling with self esteem and worth issues, the lack of ability to create healthy boundaries, and the underlying belief that love is angry, hurtful, or intense, and thus this is normal to you, and so you believe on deeper levels you must put up with it.

Please let me be very clear, while everyone’s personal thresh hold of what they will allow and permit in their space varies greatly, you must come to a place where you decide what you will, or will not, put up with.

You can hold a space of Unconditional Love from a safe distance if you must, and we must understand the difference between codependency and martyrdom and true Divine Love that would never require you be abused, mistreated, and be subject to endless drama for the sake of having a Twin Flame relationship.

You can opt out to heal yourself and collect your thoughts, and you owe that to yourself to take time out if dynamics between you are getting to be too much and reconnect with you, away from the situation.

However, I would also like to offer you a perspective based on what Spirit has shown me and is teaching me in my own life.

If your Twin Flame is a “hot mess,” it is often a call for you to step into your personal power.

You see, the more broken down and troubled your Twin Flame is, it mirrors a lot about your potential as a Healer.

You are perfect for him/her, because encoded in you is the ability to heal and support your Twin Flame through your prayers and ability to shift energy, and connect to the Higher Realms.

Many of you do not realize that you possess this ability because you do not realize how powerful you are, and the ability that you have to support your Twin Flame energetically, and because abuse may have been the norm for you all of your life, you sort of curl up in a ball and feel sorry for yourself, and victimized.


And even if you do feel like a victim, and have been a victim all of your life, I do find that on our Sacred Journey, we experience one polarity, so that we can move into balance, and that comes by way of moving into the opposite end of the spectrum.

Victimization and Empowerment are polar opposites.

When we own our personal power, we can then support and help heal our Twin Flame. We be mindful to not fall into passive feminine energy that just “allows things to be as they are” (when they are not really working and part of us knows it can be another way), and activate the Solar Masculine, who defends, guards, protects.

So if your Beloved is suffering, going through trials, or is not coming from a space of love, and putting you through hell, as the other half of their Soul, we have the power, ability and authority to help heal them and the situation at hand.

If you don’t know how, or don’t believe you can, connect to their Higher Self (and yours) , ask God/Source/Universe, and ask how you can assist them to shift this, and follow through on what comes through.

And you can do this, without being physically present in a situation that is demeaning, painful, or negative for you.


We are powerful beings. The first step in transforming the drama in our Unions, and shifting things for our Twins is releasing our victim consciousness through owning our power, disconnecting from disempowering reactions of anger and hurt over what they did or what they are going through and how it effecting us, and allowing ourselves to be clear channels of Divine Healing Light and Love.

Who is truly standing at our sides is another hurting human being, who is behaving out of the overflow of pain, their own baggage and collection of illusions and programming, just as we are.


We must hold sacred space for them, seeing them as healed and whole, and call in Heaven’s Help on their behalf, or whatever way Spirit gives us, remembering that because the Twin Flame Union is a spiritual and energetic relationship above all things, that approaching it as such is the key to transforming it.

Recommended Audio Activations from the 10 of Cups Library: Stepping Into Your Power and Embodying Your Expanded Self 

Truly, Love Changes Everything!


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