Greetings, beautiful friend.
Within the past couple several years there has been an explosion of Twin Flame healers, coaches, YouTube Channels and the like popping up all over the place.
As someone who has been studying Twin Flames since 2002, it has been incredible, to say the least, to see the growth from a handful of websites, mostly Twin Flames in Union with a very basic message to hundreds to choose from in a little under 2 decades.
And while there is some great information out there, there is also a need for discernment, because there are many who are out there looking to capitalize on the concept with motives that are questionable at best.
In fact recently, someone shared an article with me about one of the more famous Twin Flame brands out there being threatened with a Class Action Suit for the emotional, spiritual, and financial trauma they have inflicted upon many who have followed them.
The unfortunate thing is not everyone is operating from Spiritual Discernment, and I find that those who identify as Twin Flames are often in a state of despair, desperation, confusion, and heartache and are looking for someone who can provide answers for them.
It is this state of mind that makes us quite vulnerable to the misinformation or manipulation of people who have an agenda, regardless of how eloquently their message is presented.
And so I have compiled this list of qualities I highly recommend you to look for when choosing a Twin Flame coach or healer based on my personal experience, and the feedback of others that I have talked to about this very issue.
Before we get to the list, I want to say that it is normal and natural to need the confirmation, the healing, the direction to help us navigate.
That said, I cannot emphasize enough making the importance of developing your own connection to your Higher Self and minimizing your need for outside help as a goal for your journey.
You go to a doctor when you are sick, and once you are well, you don’t continue to go to him or her indefinitely.
Dependence on a teacher, healer, or coach should be used similarly, as a resource when needed, and not as a way of life. I say this as someone who followed several YouTube personalities at one time, but did not truly see things change until I began getting my information from going within.
Okay, here we go…
1. A Good Twin Flame Teacher/Healer is realistic about what they can help you with.
As you work with the healer, or look over their website, do their promises seem larger than life?
Are they guaranteeing Union and implying that working with them will help you get back into Union?
Do they perform readings where there is this dangling carrot message where Union is imminent, or this is what is happening for the Masculine, but week after week, month after month, nothing ever changes?
Do they claim that by following them, that only they have the understanding or wisdom to get your Twin Flame back? Do they teach Union as the “prize”.
If so, I encourage you to be wary because remember, most people who are in separation are desperate and disillusioned and looking for anything that might alleviate this pain and bring their Lover back to them.
Claims such as the ones I mentioned are taking advantage of this and used as marketing ploys to guarantee something that they cannot necessarily deliver.
And they cannot guarantee it because Union is not the goal or even the point in the Twin Flame dynamic.
It is to support you in the process of embodiment of your Expanded Self and Truth.
It is also the same for your Twin, if they are open to this process. If they are choosing not to, then they will use their free will to choose other realities for themselves that may not involve you, and no amount of promise is going to do anything about another’s free will decisions.
2. There is original information coming from their blog/teachings.
I find most Twin Flame blogs and You Tube channels to be an echo chamber of the same ideologies, beliefs, and information over and over.
There is very little variety or original thought. It is like a carbon copy of the same dogma over and over and over with very little variation to the point where it has come to feel kind of like…well, a religion.
There is a saying that what is right is not always popular and what is popular is not always right.
And I have found more people disillusioned and damaged by “Twin Flame doctrine” (and let’s face it….that’s what it actually is) than the actual Twin Flame situation itself!
It is quite easy to parrot something that you heard or read somewhere else. It doesn’t make you an expert or even profound.
A good healer or teacher of any kind that is truly connected to their own Higher Facilities will receive revelations, downloads, and have access to wisdom that helps you to think outside of the box and outside of your own limitations.
They should help you find YOUR truth, not follow a belief system.
They will assist you into your own sovereignty, not assist you in getting stuck in a consciousness trap of regurgitated beliefs, which may or may not truly serve you.
Which brings me to….
3. A good twin flame coach encourages you to empower yourself and find your own answers.
Does your chosen teacher/coach encourage you to tap into your own Intuition, Divine Connection, and Power or do they foster a relationship based on them having all your answers, and dependency upon them?
As I was saying earlier, there are times when we all need outside help or guidance from other people…I know I do!
But there comes a time when you must go within and trust your own heart knowing to provide the answers for you.
You wouldn’t let someone just get in your car and drive you to your destination when they don’t even know what your destination is, would you?
I mean, technically that would be like Spiritual Car-jacking.
Your path is unique and individual and no one can tell you how to arrive at your destination.
They can only help you get back on the road if you have deviated, and this is what a good healer or teacher should do is provide you with wisdom to help you find your own way, rather than attempt to foster indefinite dependence.
There is a saying that when the student is ready the teacher appears, but likewise when the student has learned what they need to, the teacher should disappear.
A good way to determine that is do they often use the encouragement to “take what resonates and leave the rest?” or “use your own discretion with this information”?
If so, then you can be assured that you are dealing with someone who wants you to be empowered and not dependent, and certainly not like they have all the answers and if you don’t listen to them, then woe be unto you.
4. They Practice the Law of One
The Law of One in a nutshell is simply doing onto others what you would have them do unto you.
If you are following a teacher who seems to always be putting down other Twin Flame coaches and healers, whether mentioning them by name or not, while at the same time puffing themselves up as having some sort of superior understanding, proceed with caution.
I have discovered the hard way that the worse thing you can do is be naive and think that just because someone is spouting all the right words that sound good on paper, that they are truly coming from a place of True Light and Purity.
Some are just plain ol’ Narcissistic, because one of the hallmark attributes of narcissism is tearing others down so you can feel better about yourself.
I once had a friendship with a very popular Twin Flame healer who I confided in about personal problems that I was having at one point in my life, and they took this information to discredit me on their website (which is also something that narcissists do, by getting you to confide in them so they can use the information against you later).
Upon looking through their website, there is this ongoing pattern of pointing out flaws in other Twin Flame teachers, while propping themselves up as the end all be all of understanding.
And while they don’t name them specifically, if you are involved in the Twin Flame community, you know who they are talking about anyway.
If you have to make others look bad, in order to make yourself look good, one has to wonder how much merit there is in what you do in and of itself.
Your works, your Love, your message should be able to speak for itself without slinging mud at others.
While we are certainly free to disagree with others (for we are all truly on this journey and none of us have “arrived”…if we did we would be Ascended Masters by now) a full on smear campaign where you constantly have to make someone else appear “less than” so you can appear “more than” is not heart centered, in my honest opinion.
And if you are following someone who is frequently doing this, I encourage you to ask yourself why are they doing this?
You can tell the tree by the fruit, Yeshua once said.
In closing, at some point in our journey, we must move into Sovereignty, which basically means that we are living from the Highest Expression of our Truth and the freedom that is the natural byproduct.
With all things, regardless of what someone is claiming to be, do, have, or know, I think the biggest most blessed favor we can do for ourselves is approach the support we seek in the form of Twin Flame teachers, healers, etc with the understanding that we are allowing this person to get in the passengers seat of our journey for a season to help us navigate, but at some point, we must take responsibility for our own spiritual growth and evolution, which includes what ultimately ends up being right for us with our Twin Flame situation.
No one knows what that is more than you do.